As I do at the end of every year, I look at my writing to-do list and decide what the fuck I’m going to do with everything.

Do I keep these on the backburner?

Do I want to keep writing this genre?

Can I keep writing this genre?

That right there is THE question.

I never know, but usually I fight my way through and get at least two books written per year because that’s what I’m down to. I’m so goddamn sick and tired of writing novels and trying to figure out whether I’ll even write more YA horror that I can only get two long pieces written per year.

Certainly not up to my old standard, when just eleven years ago, in 2015, I wrote four novellas, a set of four long stories, and then five short stories, typed up all of my song lyrics, and then wrote five hefty novels and a short story in four months. Then in 2016, I started the third set of Wrathbone stories two months later because I chose to not write what I thought would be the final Porn Star Brothers book. A book I ended up writing two years later and would be the second last book.

I suffered through four years of burnout (2019-2023) because of all the back-and-forth between adult and YA, and after that never got back into the swing I once had.

My writing, and enthusiasm for it, has changed since burnout. It’s the complete opposite from before. Before, it was exciting to sit down and write something new. After, it’s a heaping shit pile of mental blockage. My mental atmosphere was clogged, my mojo long gone. I was strangled with a want to write, but struggled to actually do it. There was no motivation, just exhaustion. And I was done.

So, after looking at this year’s to-do list, I changed a long series of 25 stories down to 1 novel. It used to be 25 books of 40-50,000 words each, which I had cut down to 25 stories of 10-25,000 words each way back in 2023. I decided not to do another series of 6 books simply because I had no fucking clue what it was about, I just liked the titles I’d chosen. And titles are easy enough to use for other things. Maybe a series of poems, instead. Much shorter and faster to write.

And then I made the same choices with 2 other series, both jewellery themed.

As much as I loved these ideas when I came up with 10 plus years ago, times, and my brain space and energy, have changed. Dramatically.

I can’t go full steam ahead anymore, no matter how much I want to. My mother is older, more combative, more narcissistic, more argumentative, and more of a pain in my arse sucking out all of my time and energy.

My own health has deteriorated, though it’s still workable.

I can try and type my stories up instead of handwriting them. But then I worry I won’t have the same brain-to-hand thought process writing gives me, because I’ve done it with a novel and novella, and believe me, I noticed the difference.

Regardless, I’ve come to the conclusion, that if I can get at least 3-4 novels, and enough short stories written this year, and keep at that pace for the next three years, then everything else should be done by the end of this decade. When I’m retiring.

Yep. I have decided to retire from writing adult and young adult on December 31st, 2029.

I’m tired. I’m tired of writing massive novels, and worrying about getting short stories written. I wrote my first novel in 2006. That’s 20 years ago this year, and I plan on writing the prequel and sequel to that novel in the second half of this year. Mainly, because I started the prequel about 18/19 years ago, and I know what the sequel is about. But guess what? I actually don’t give a fuck about either story and really don’t want to write them.

The stories are old, and I don’t care. But I need to, in order to get them out. Of my head, and my life.

So that’s my novel/short story writing end date. December 31st, 2029.

My novel publishing end date is September 19th, 2031. 20 years after first publishing, and the 16th anniverary of Jackie Collins’ death. While my horror publishing end date is October 31st, 2031. Halloween, which I thought was appropriate.

It doesn’t mean I won’t keep writing poems, songs, opinion pieces and essays, and lots of blog posts of my thoughts. I will still write. But what 2025 into 26 has told me, is that I’d rather read books and do reviews, and just blog for fun when I want, and not give a fuck about posting to social media any more, than slogging my guts out writing novels and stories, and then getting them published and trying to market them.

I joined social media in 2009, and have hated it, or had a huge dislike for it, since 2014. I said then, if I didn’t have books (and at that time jewellery) to flog, I wouldn’t be online.

So, on January 1st, 2030, I’m going to stop and take a break from writing, blogging, posting, and being online, which I do in Jan anyway. I’ll deal with what’s left, and maybe scrap anything leftover, because I’m very close to being worn out and done with this writing gig. Novels and short stories, anyway.

Short writing styles are the way to go for me in the next decade. Because I can’t keep doing this for much longer. I can still pop out a blog, and show off my latest goodies on Jewel Divas Style, and have fun doing it. Ironically, getting back to the way I started in 2009.

It will be 20 years since I started blogging.

2009-2029.

And it’s 20 years since I wrote my first book.

2006-2026.

And my end date will be 20 years since I first published.

2011-2031.

20 years.

What goes around…

I’ve got 42 months/3.5 years to get 75/77 or more stories written. YA horror, and adult romance.

And 63 months/5.3 years to wrap up publishing novels and short stories.

We’ll see what happens.