2024 has been busy, like other years, and now it’s time for some reflections on the year.
As with every year, I always start off with high hopes for what I’ll do. I lay out my yearly to-do list, and my yearly write/release schedule and work backwards in order to complete everything.
This year I laid things out a little differently.
I started the year with a three-day migraine and the heat ensued for the next three months, so I did small things. I wrote five poems, a bunch of songs, and hundreds of essays and opinion pieces. All short things you can whip up in a couple of hours and still take a nap on a hot afternoon.
I did a quick update to two non-fiction books I already sell, and will re-release those next year under my publishing house name, and updated the freebies I want to give away with them. I just have to figure out the best way of setting up the freebie to download. In October, I had the crazy idea of selling them to those who don’t want to buy the book, so I set up an Etsy store under my publishing house name and uploaded several books as well to see how that goes until mid-2025.
I finally did my radio interview, then wrote the second book in a duology, the first one I wrote late last year and is based on the TV show Blue Bloods. Ideas come from everywhere. I typed up the first while finishing off the second, and then typed up the second. Both books have received monthly edits since because I knew there was a lot of work to make them work within their timeline. I also planned a spinoff novel from a storyline in the book, and then considered a novella instead. By the time of this post, it’s been outlined but nothing else.
By June, I was way ahead of myself as I’d planned. My new novel was edited, interiors done, cover designer hired and covers completed. I had proofs and only realised a cover mistake months later. It was fixed and uploaded, and then did a final listen-through of the book, corrected the spelling mistakes and reuploaded. Both of those things should have been done earlier in the year, but we live and learn.
I kicked my weight loss into gear in May and lost 6.5 kilos/14 pounds in two months. Slow going, but I managed it. I maintained for the winter months and then kicked it into gear again by eating even less. I did a version of the 800cal 5:2 diet. So that was ticked off the list as ongoing and I’ve lost a good chunk of weight but have more to go.
Knowing I suffer badly in the winter, Aus style, I knew my hands would seize up with arthritis and I wouldn’t be able to write for long periods. So, I set aside the coldest months of June, July, and August to do paperwork, outlining, reorganising, and keeping active.
It worked out fine, until I started doing the outlining.
I looked at my writing to-do list and said, “What am I going to do with all of you”? I wrote them all down on their planner pages and put them in their clear J. Burrows file folders from Officeworks, and every night for three or four nights in a row, for several weeks in a row, I’d sit down with all of the stories, novels, series, and ideas I wanted to write. Many progressed forward. I wrote three short stories I hope to either release or give away as freebies next year with my newsletter. I decided to set aside other short story ideas to never write as I no longer had interest in them, and the series was set aside as I’ll write them “someday”.
Others were moved to the 2025 list, and I decided to concentrate on novels for now. A cop show idea I had developed as a 7-episode per 11-season idea morphed into a three novella idea and I wrote those. I also chose to write 2-3 other novels and see how many I could get done until December 31st. None, as of this writing, and that’s okay. I’ll get into one during the rest of the year and try and continue during the holidays into new year. Even if I do five pages a night instead of ten.
All of this is because my groove did come back along with my physical and mental energy, but, alas, more on that in a moment.
Blogging slowed down this year by choice and it worked out well. I didn’t post as often to this website, after my initial yearly plan was posted, and didn’t post again until April when Taylor Swift released The Tortured Poets Department. I went to blogging fortnightly at my style site, Jewel Divas Style.
Everything was going fine. Energy was good, even in winter, which is unusual for me. And then late August arrived with seven doctors’ appointments in four days, including my final dentist appointment, so that was ticked off the list. Well, my brain overloaded and went into hibernation mode, exhausted after running around and dealing with people. And that was on top of the three other appointments mum had in the three weeks before. My lethargy continued into September when I decided to get some energy back by starting my wardrobe clean out early.
I pulled out clothes I no longer wanted, reorganised my handbags, shoes, sock and underwear drawers. I threw stuff in the bin, threw more into the rag bag, and bagged up even more for the op shop, and put some on eBay to sell. It was clearing and energetic, but God did it kill my back!
Sadly, the lethargy came back and writing the cop show novellas dragged me down. By the time I finished book two, I didn’t care about book three, but it needed to be done and I struggled through, weeks past the deadline I had set for myself. But in order to keep my sanity, and do other stuff in the mornings, I kept writing at night and soldiered on. Then moved on to outlining the duology spin-off and a murder mystery. I even managed the first draft of a children’s picture book story.
Now here we are November, and I’m reflecting upon the year in this post.
And another thing I’m reflecting on that happened this year came from a social media post back in May. I posted a picture of myself to my Instagram for my 50th birthday, see below with the caption.
The problem is, thinking about it months later, that wasn’t the image I wanted to convey. I took maybe twenty or thirty photos, trying to get the words on my t-shirt in, get my books in, but I smiled. Even though I didn’t want to smile.
I didn’t feel like smiling because I was miserable. I am miserable, with the way my life turned out at fifty. Who knew I’d be doing the same fucking thing in the same fucking place that I did at 25.
But instead of showing that, showing me look miserable, I posted a photo of me smiling. Why? Vanity! So you didn’t see my dark circles and bags, my acne scars and red veins, and my thinning hair, basically how shit I looked. Because that was the truth. I looked and felt like shit, but vanity took over and I wanted to look good without make-up. Jesus fucking Christ. So that photo of me smiling is not an accurate representation of where I was emotionally, psychologically, or physically. Just vanity. For the sake of looking good without make-up, and once I had this thought a couple of months ago, it didn’t sit right.
So now I post a second photo, but it’s the second best one I took, because I deleted the rest back in May because I didn’t look good. Good God, how vain. Being a carer and stuck on the same goddamn treadmill of life for half of my life is exhausting, and I’m fucking exhausted.
So here it is. Still not conveying misery, but it’s the second best I got.
As I come to the end of the year, there are things still left to do. I’m still struggling to get sales and to market myself, as many authors do. That’s something I didn’t get to fix this year, so it’ll go on the list for next year, as many things get rolled over year after year.
What I didn’t do was come up with more variety to post to socials, to cover my two author names plus myself. I set up a posting schedule in January, as always, but, as usual, things go awry and don’t always happen. So, I’ll have another think about it this coming January and set up a new schedule.
And as with the end of every year, I hope and wish with every new year that my life changes for the better. Sadly, at the end of every year I see it never does, and realise it never will. And that is still depressing shit I have to deal with. Never having the life I’ve always wanted and believe is meant for me, because the universe, and other people, dictate what I do. And while they say you have to be in it to win it, I’m still waiting for that win. The lottery, an RSL Art Union House, or become rich and famous thanks to my books.
If only my life would change…
Either way, I’ll be here next year in some context. Because, as always, even though life and times could change again, I seriously doubt it will…
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