2023 has been incredibly busy, like some other years, and as so much has happened it’s time for some reflections as I head towards the year I turn 50.

That’s right, next year, I turn the big five-oh. And, as I come to the end of every year, I realise how little I have actually done, and how little I have in my life, writing, publishing, and blogging aside.

In business and blogging, I updated three websites in April, changing out the themes on Jewel Divas Style and Royal Star Publishing. I updated Tiara King and started blogging there as I had the blog posts migrated from L.J. Diva and T.K. Wrathbone in order to close them down.

That’s right, I closed down my two author websites that had been going for fifteen and eight years and I feel good about it. It helps relieve the pressure in my business life and gets everything to where it should have been when I started online in 2009. The whole “if I knew then what I know now” syndrome. But things are headed to where they should be moving forward, and that’s great.

I’ve done online events, some more writing courses, and a whole lot more that will be discussed in next week’s full year catch-up.

As an author, and in business, I struggle to get sales and to market myself, as many authors do. That’s something I’ll set aside for next year, as this year I just wanted to get a stock of stories up instead of worrying about publishing.

But that hasn’t gone to plan either. Who knows what may come this summer holiday period. My groove has slowly been coming back along with my physical and mental energy. Something I’ve suffered from, and you would have read about recently, is burnout. I went through four years of it and hopefully I’m out the other side.

So with everything that’s happened this year, and the last couple of years in general, decision making has happened where my business is concerned, and so, things will change again.

I’ve already decided to not blog as often, if at all, as I’ve written so much since migrating posts from my two author websites, and my style site, that I’m blogged out. I want to get back to spending my time writing as much as I can. Real life has encroached upon my writing time more and more, and I have less time to write or create and I want to change that.

So that means less time blogging at my style site, Jewel Divas Style, as well.

It also means less time on socials. While I’ll set up some sort of posting schedule come January, it may not be to the extent of which I’m posting now. I’ll need to come up with more variety to post, to cover my two author names plus myself, so I’ll relive some of the old posts on my old author names socials. I still have the pics, so they may be recreated.

I have no idea what will come in 2024. I have no idea what will come as I turn 50. I’m single, childless, and live with my mother whom I care for and that’s bloody hard in itself. My life is shit and I never thought at 15 and 25, as none of us do, that I’d still be here doing the same shit thing year after year after year at 50.

I hope and wish with every new year that my life changes for the better. Sadly, at the end of every year I see that it never does, and realise that it never will. And that is some depressing shit I have to deal with. Never having the life I’ve always wanted, and believe is meant for me, because the universe, and other people, dictate what I do.

I have no idea how I got here to where I am, but it feels as though I’m being punished. I don’t know if my shit life will ever change, but I suck it up and move on because what’s the point in wallowing in my self-pitying bullshit when I have to just get on with it anyway.

If only I could change my life. If only I would win the lottery, win an RSL Art Union House, or become rich and famous thanks to my books.

If only my life would change…

If only…

Maybe I’ll write a novel about it and call it If Only…

Either way, I’ll be here next year in some context. Because, as always, even though life and times could change again, I seriously doubt it will…